The hard(?) question of Elon’s erections
Plus: Generative brain rot, AI wingmen, and ChatGPT leaves sexts on read
I’m back in California after a one-week escape to Texas, where I helped expose an entirely new audience to the depraved existence of one of my close friends, the legendary photographer and rough trade documentarian, David Hurles. For a few days David’s bestie, porn maven Dian Hanson, and I threw ourselves back into his world, sharing his life and work with rooms full of friends and strangers. It was a magical moment in a dark time. I was able to focus on love and friendship and forget about the stench emananting from the White House, if just for a weekend.
As we laughed, and toasted, and looked back on a life predicated on toxic masculinity, the D.C. dumpster fires burned on. Moments before she left Texas, Dian and I touched back down to Earth just long enough for her to drop a juicy bit of gossip on me. Rumors were swirling that Elon Musk had a “botched penis implant.”
The childish outbursts, the apparent hair transplants, the obsessive dick jokes, the contested gaming stats, the IVF-assisted, one-man baby boom; they all began to make sense. Someone hurt him; now we all have to pay.
Sadly, the source of this tea isn’t the most reliable. Rapper, homophobe, and provocateur Azealia Banks has apparently taken a break from sacrificing chickens to dredge up old beef with Musk and the mother of three of his 14 children. In addition to cosigning a tweet about the billionaire’s mangled appendage, Banks recently went on a Twitter rant where she accused Musk and his ex, Grimes, of using ketamine and speed, respectively, and told the former to “Go back to Canada bitch.” She’d previously called the two out for trying to lure her into “some weird threesome sex shit.”
Meanwhile, Musk’s technocratic dick swinging in DC has led some members of congress to liken him to an actual penis. California Representative Robert Garcia recently referred to a picture of the billionaire as a “dick pic” during a DOGE oversight hearing. Hard as it may be to consume, Musk’s dick is on everyone’s lips.
We may never solve the mystery of the mashed banana, but it’s clear the world’s richest man is suffering from a case of fragile masculinity. Truth be told, a broken penis would just be the rotten cherry atop a shit sundae no one ordered.
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Technocracy Now!
Elon Musk would like you to believe that everything he does is groundbreaking, earth shattering, and entirely new. At least in the case of his mission to overhaul the federal government in the name of efficiency, nothing could be further from the truth. It turns out his own grandfather founded an anti-government organization in the 1930s called Technocracy Incorporated that, according to this piece in The Guardian, “sought to abolish democracy in favour of government by elite technicians.”
What does Elon Musk believe? – The Guardian
In Science We Trust – CBC News
Use it or lose it: Generative brain rot is coming for critical thought
Silicon Valley evangelists have been preaching the gospel of AI for decades. They say that if it doesn’t kill us first, it could cure disease, advance world peace, and make humans infinitely smarter…or not. Researchers from Microsoft and Carnegie Mellon University recently published a paper that posits that reliance on generative AI may be responsible for the erosion of critical thought.
Is AI making us stupider? Maybe, according to one of the world’s biggest AI companies – The Conversation
Microsoft Study Finds AI Makes Human Cognition “Atrophied and Unprepared” – 404 Media
ChatGPT still leaving sexts on read
Last month, Open AI released a new Model Spec, updating how its AI wunderkind, ChatGPT, should behave when asked to give advice on sensitive topics like how to: cook meth, build a bomb, or emotionally manipulate a neighbor’s voting behavior. In keeping with past iterations, the document pays lip service to user demands for an adult mode. The company is apparently still trying to figure out if it can “responsibly provide the ability to generate NSFW content in age-appropriate contexts.” In addition, the new guidelines confusingly state that, “only sexual content involving minors is considered prohibited.” Meanwhile, the bot is programmed to demure when asked to generate explicit text or visuals.
At least now it will tell you what happens when a penis enters a vagina; just don’t expect a full release.
OpenAI is rethinking how AI models handle controversial topics – The Verge
Grindr’s AI “Wingman” is a total cock tease
Wired’s test-run of Grindr’s AI assistant was unsurprisingly unremarkable, but it did reveal one shocking detail. While the chatbot will gladly offer vague advice to first-time fisters, and give worthless travel tips to aimless gays, it will not talk dirty to you. When asked for spicy chat the bot reportedly responds, “How about we keep things playful but PG-13?”
PG FUCKING 13?!?! This on the app where it’s not uncommon to start a conversation with a dick pic or casual hole shot. If Wingman doesn’t loosen up a bit he won’t last a day on Grindr.
I Took Grindr’s AI Wingman for a Spin. Here’s a Glimpse of Your Dating Future – Wired
Gen Z’s one-night slump
A 2024 Times of London poll of 1,000+ Gen Z brits found an alarming drop-off in casual sex compared to previous generations. When asked how often their friends engaged in one-night stands only 23% of respondents 18 to 27 years old said they did so frequently. That’s down from 78% in 2004.
Gen Z have killed the one-night stand, research says – Dazed
Confessions of a fictosexual
As companion apps like Character.ai grow in popularity and sophistication, relationships with fictional characters are becoming commonplace. But how does one fall for a cartoon court jester? A 19-year-old Wisonsinite named Cait opens up to Bustle about her love for a gay, animated demon named Fizzarolli, and why he's a better match than any human she’s ever met.
He’s a cartoon. The love she feels is real – Bustle
Fighting AI plagiarism with fantasy boners
If you think fictosexuality is confusing, you might as well steer clear of the Omegaverse. The fan-fic fetish community, with its carnal caste system and otherworldly mating rituals, is definitely a niche demographic, but it could teach us all a lesson about protecting our intellectual property. Knotting, one of the more intricate sex acts in the Omegaverse – “a phenomenon borrowed from animals in which a penis grows a bulb at the base to remain locked inside a vagina” – has proven an unexpected weapon in the war on AI plagiarism.
The Fanfic Sex Trope That Caught a Plundering AI Red-Handed – Wired